Me, Myself, and Who?

Family. What does that word mean?

For me I’d say my brothers, sister, mom, stepdad, and grandma. For some, they would not say anything similar. We all have different makeups, so trying to define family is not going to cut it. In fact, this is something that psychologists are struggling with today. They are not concerned that there is not a common family anymore, but they would like to try to find how to define family in order to help those who need it. Once they can understand the complexities that have unveiled themselves, they will be better equipped to be more effective with their patients (see below). If psychologists just assume that family means your two biological parents and any siblings you might have and this is not your case, then it could cause complications. They could ask “is your family bothering you?” If the answer is yes, it could be for a completely different reason than what they understand because you do not have a common family makeup. 

This is shown by the Adams-Foster family in The Fosters. The family is comprised of two mothers, one biological son, two hispanic twins, and Callie and Jude, two white children from the foster care system. This is obviously, not your common family makeup, but for them, it is what they call family. Lena had wanted to birth a baby of her own and once she was not able to, she realized that “DNA doesn’t make a family, love does.” This is reality. This is what should be the same for everyone. We all have different amounts of siblings, different kinds of caregiving, different kinds of responsibility, but we should all have one thing in common. We should all be able to find the love that is in our family, no matter how big or small, how similar or diverse the family is. 

Family. What does that word mean? 

It’s up to you, but I hope it includes love.

 

Patterson, Terence, and Sexton, Thomas. “Bridging conceptual frameworks: A systemic heuristic for understanding family diversity.” Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice 2, no. 4 (2013): 237-245.

Take Pride in Who You Are

So since we live in America and it is 2018, we are all supposed to live like we were created equal and there should be no hate and we should live as one in piece on this soil of ours, right? Well apparently not. The Fosters does an amazing job of showing different sexualities and gender identities. This is a rather new topic and is not something that has been debated for long until recent years. 

Being transgender is not typically seen on television, so the fact that there are multiple people on this show that are transgender says a lot about what they make sure to include in their script. They show the problems being transgender between families and friends. Just because we should be supportive of people does not mean everyone always is. There are parents, which are shown in this series, that simply do not accept their new child’s identity, even if it makes them happy. It shows the reality of transitioning and how hard it can be on your body. These are all realities that no one stops to think about or consider and they are going on in these people’s lives on a daily basis.

When it comes to sexuality, the show hits the nail on the head. It shows what some people go through when they are questioning their own sexuality. They are definitely not afraid to show the reality of what happens when someone comes out or goes on a date with someone of the same sex. The mothers of the show, Stef and Lena, are married. Their children will get some type of comment from time to time about how they have two mothers. The series uncovers what it is like to be a teenager questioning their sexuality. It then goes to show what commonly happens when they find out that they are in fact homosexual. They often face discrimination from their peers. Jude was laughed at by his classmates because he decided to paint his nails. Then he was afraid to tell people he was gay after this incident for fear of being laughed at. Jude already sticks out a little bit and is on his own quite often, so revealing his sexuality makes him think that he would be the laughing stalk of his class. Sexual based harassment is often ignored by teachers and they do not typically intervene (see below).

For students like Jude, it may seem abnormal being gay. The situation that has him wondering about a lot of things is Sex Ed. There is no information of safe sex for anyone except heterosexual people. This is promoting heterosexuality and ignoring homosexuality in a school setting (see below). The problem is often not thought about because the people who organize things like this are not homosexual, so they do not see a need for including it just because it does not pertain to them. Jude helps and gets a Sex Ed course taught off campus for those who need it. Little acts like this can make a big difference and I think that is what makes it so frustrating. There is not enough being done to help children like Jude, even if it is simple.

 

Anonymous. “Gender, sexuality and identity.”Education 92, no. 8 (2011): S10-S16.

Here or There?

Last time we talked about foster care, how the system was messed up, and how the children of foster care are stereotyped and misunderstood. For this post, I think I’ll discuss a topic that might be a little more relatable than the previous one. The Fosters does a great job of highlighting day to day problems that ethnically diverse people go through, so I will be discussing how the show does such a great job portraying this.

One African American teenage character, AJ, has an older brother that is in and out of jail. AJ and his brother are very close, and he would do almost anything to be around him more often. His brother has discussed with him that when the police are suspicious of him, to make sure he really does everything the police tell him, to avoid being hurt. When AJ went on rounds with his foster father, Mike, who is a police officer, they had to attend a house call with an intruder. AJ waited in the car while  officers entered the house, but he thought he saw something suspicious outside. He stepped out of the car and started walking towards the house. Another police officer saw AJ standing outside of the house and started approaching him as if he was a threat. The officer told him to put his hands on his head and get on his knees. Afraid of what police might do if he ignored his orders, AJ quickly and willingly did what he was told. The situation was quickly resolved as Mike walked outside to explain what AJ was doing there. This is just a simple example of what happens to those who are not white. They do not look exactly like us. AJ is black, so if he just happens to be standing in front of a house where there was an intrusion reported, he must be guilty. 

Another teenage character, Ximena, is the daughter of two illegal immigrants. Her DACA had expired and rather than police waiting to hear the results of her reapplication, the police chased her. She decided to take sanctuary in a church. She was stuck in there for weeks. simply to avoid being deported. This shows a side of immigration that we do not typically see. Television likes to show us that illegal immigrants are being harmful towards our citizens and taking jobs. These shows do not take into account the families that they have at home that often suffer simply because the person has entered the country illegally. It was not Ximena’s choice to come to America, so the trouble she is going through just to stay in the place she grew up is troubling.

It is hard to be racially diverse in this country because while we have become more accepting, there still seems to be a divide between whites and everyone else. While we are all Americans, some people do not feel this way. Some feel like they are in America but do not necessarily belong. One study found that black respondents had significantly lower levels of national identities than their white counterparts (see below). This study shows that people basically have two choices. The first choice is living in America and being proud of your heritage and background but not feeling like you belong. Second comes the choice of feeling more like an American, but less like who you actually are. It is sad that this is something that has to be a choice instead of just being able to be American and being who you are. This is something everything should have to ability to do, it should not be limited to white people born in the United States.

 

Molina, Ludwin E., Phillips, Nia L., and Sidanius, Jim. “National and ethnic identity in the face of discrimination: Ethnic minority and majority perspectives.” Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology 21, no. 2 (2015): 225-236.